I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
