whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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