he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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