How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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