Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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