I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
