That's when you crack a 10am beer
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
