$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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