His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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