Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dicks are not precious.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
