yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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