it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
