PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
