like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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