My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
