You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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