I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
