the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
