i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
