So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
