Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
