haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
