If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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