fuck your aforementioned shoe
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
