It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
