So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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