I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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