I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
