yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
