**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
