We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
