xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
