I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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