Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
