no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
