the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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