i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
