how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My balls are so social today.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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