You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
