i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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