You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
