Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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