I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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