it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
