ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
