Got a toothbrush?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
