I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
