just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
