just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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