I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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