I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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