last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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