i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
