i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
