I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
