ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
