just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
