he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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