so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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